Guns and Roses
by GraciellaRed74
Summary: The Infamous and Long Discussed "Date" story! This story is written in copious thanks to all my readers of "Badass & Beauty" for their faithful reviews! Thank you all this much and so much more!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer #1:__ I do not own any characters from "The Walking Dead." They are the property of Robert Kirkman, Glenn Mazzera and AMC. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story._

_Disclaimer #2:__ All original characters, including those based upon information graciously supplied by my readers, and the actions and beliefs of those original characters, are of my own interpretations and should not be assumed to completely represent, as a whole, the individual who agreed to become part of this story. _

_Special Thanks to:__**VeritasKym, Jezebella Corvus, Day of the Dead Tattoo Girl, Kay012js, Equal-Opportunity-Reader, The Boney King of Nowhere, BeingLolaStar, RainbowShelby, Melanthia Chase, Alec1116**__ and __**Artificial Hero**__ for agreeing to influence this story! Thank all of you of you for reading, reviewing and making "Badass and Beauty" what is has become! _

_Author's Note:__ Chapter 1 is the warm up and scene setter; I don't like that I couldn't get all of your suggestions in this one, but you will meet some "familiar" characters and/or see some familiar things in the next few chapters! This is meant to be funny, intriguing and eventually, kinda sexy! But mostly, I hope you all laugh! (And bonus points to whoever translates the French!)_

_Special Credits:__ "Drunk On You" by Luke Bryan – Drywall & Kym's theme… _

**Guns and Roses**

Chapter 1 – …c_ottonwood fallin' like snow in July…Sunset, riverside, four wheel drives…_

"Tell me more about him!" Kym was so enthusiastic about this double date, finally having some legitimate reason for hanging out with her older sister, that wasn't going to get her somehow run off if things started going well between Grace and her date for the evening. Nope, this time, Kim had her own date too…something she had an oddly good feeling about, though she couldn't describe why. Didn't matter that she had no idea who her date was…in fact, she didn't even know who it was Grace was going out with either…and Grace wasn't being real talkative.

But, it was going to be good to get out…Kym was taking her camera and everything…had been inspired by the new billboard across the street from their house to start documenting the people she hung out with and had a good time with in photographs. It appealed to her artsy side, and hey, maybe if she were lucky, her date would turn out to be just a hot as was the muscled up, shirtless hunk with the fox-sharp face with the little mole sitting just off to the left of his perfect mouth, modeling those designer French jeans that Kym had been staring at every night when she got into bed! A long shot probably…men didn't really look all sculpted and strong like that, not without some airbrushing…at least, Kym had never been lucky enough to have arms like the ones hanging off of that jeans modeling hunk wrapped around her…she'd never reached up and grabbed a handful of big, muscled shoulders like the one's blue jean boy was sporting…and her fingers had never walked down a set of six pack abs as prominent as steps in a staircase, that lead straight to the tantalizing darkness that concealed just what was filling out the front of those French jeans…

_Whew_! Kym's eyes darted up a moment and she stole a quick glance of her imagined boyfriend, 15 feet tall in black and white, staring back at her through the window from across the street, with a smug smirk like he had a surprise for her…but Kym knew she was going to have to let go of blue jean boy if she was really going to give her date the chance he at least deserved to impress her…because blue jean boy was a tough act to follow! So…yeah, whatever Grace could tell her about who it was Kym was going out with tonight would sure help to break the hold that blue jean boy had over Kym right now…but Grace was ignoring her…or, maybe Grace was off on another ozone expedition…Kym had to admit that her older sister had been acting kind of distracted and odd lately…and Kym was pretty sure she knew why, but she wasn't about to say anything. Nope, she just wanted more info on her date! "Hey!" She called over to Grace. "What's he like? This guy you set me up with?"

Grace sort of jumped, clearly deep in her own thoughts and self-wallowing up until now. "Oh, he's…a real…down to earth kinda guy." She finally answered, but she sounded sort of like she meant what she'd said in a much different way than what the words usually implied…but she didn't explain; she was too preoccupied staring at herself in her own mirror, standing there with the waist band of her ripped up skinny jeans with all the studs on the back pockets pulled down to about the ridge of her hip, and Grace's blue eyes and her finger played gently at the big gauze patch taped to her side. Whatever was under it seemed to be really weighing heavily on her…probably some embarrassing new tattoo, knowing Grace…but Grace had seemed to really be mooning over it ever since two nights ago when she'd snuck into the house late, wavy, chestnut hair a mess and the side seam of her fitted plaid shirt ripped and her hand clutching that same place where the gauze pad was now above her hip…and Grace had smelled all over of that no good Merle Dixon…whom Grace hadn't spoken of since that night…yeah, Kym's money was on embarrassing tattoo; something her sister had gotten in tribute to a man who had once again dumped her, or that Grace had dumped herself one more time.

But Kym wasn't wasting her time thinking about Merle Dixon right now, she was too excited about her date, sitting at her vanity and putting all her skills as a make-up artist to work on her face, bound and determined to be the prettiest girl her date had ever seen…or that blue jean boy had ever smirked smugly at…whichever. But, back to reality…whoever Grace was going out with tonight, he'd had a friend…or whatever, who had also been in need of a date…and Grace had assured Kym that she'd like this guy…and Kym was hoping she could believe that…even if part of this double date was feeling more like if Grace hadn't found someone to go out with her date's mysterious friend, then that would have been a deal breaker.

Kym didn't even know guys did that…but whatever…if nothing else, Kym would have done anything to discourage her sister away from Merle Dixon…and since Grace hadn't said his name at all in the last two days, Kim felt that she could assume her sister wasn't going out with Merle Dixon tonight, that Grace was moving on…and that was the real reason Kym wasn't too opposed to this blind date she'd been set up on. Anything to get Grace away from Merle once and for all…Grace and Merle…hmm…Kym had to admit, there was some chemistry between those two…unfortunately, it was the same type of chemistry that gave rise to things like napalm and mustard gas…

"Hey, before you go crazy pulling outfits and asking me what I think, I should go ahead and tell you that what you have on right now will do just fine." Grace turned away from the mirror and said. "Think of this as…something relaxed…you know, nothing real high falootin'…that's not who we're going out with tonight," but then Grace kind of sighed as she sat down on her bed. "Not by a long shot."

Kym should have been suspicious at that point, and she kind of was, but she was more struck by the outfit recommendation, looking down at the clothes she was wearing and then over at her sister like Grace was crazy. "I can't wear this on a date, Grace! An old tattered up pair of cutoffs and this tied up T-shirt that I dripped homemade wine all over? Are you kidding?"

"Tonight you can," Grace insisted, then sat forward, staring at herself in her mirror again, her posture stiff. "Like I said…relaxed…" only Grace looked anything but relaxed, particularly when she went to toying with that gauze pad on her side again. "Just, don't worry, okay Kymmi? You're a beautiful, long haired, green eyed, brunette with a nice rack, long legs and sparkly little labret where a beauty mark should be…you won't need to dress all fancy to impress your man."

Kym smiled…but she really should be digging deeper into this, despite that she didn't want to…not just yet anyway…what was so wrong with just feeling good…for a little while longer? She was going out with a "down to earth guy" who apparently impressed easily…hmm…yeah, Kym was definitely going to have to dig more…but…later…for now, she liked being excited and wanted that to continue while it could…before Grace inevitably said whatever it was she was going to say to ruin this whole thing…ah well, at least there was always blue jean boy! But Kym just smiled…Grace hadn't ruined this date yet. "So, is he nice?"

Grace gave a harrumphing kind of laugh that Kym already didn't like. "He's…good looking."

"That's not what I asked." Kym reminded, reaching for a different make-up brush and getting more and more worried…but that kind of got Kym's hopes up, because hey, blue jean boy was good looking, too! "Is he nice?"

At that Grace looked interminably guilty and fell back onto her bed with a groaning shout. "Alright, the only reason I'm coming clean here is because you're my sister, and I owe you the truth…but don't think for a minute that you're backing out on me tonight, because I need you to be there!" She sighed and then just shook her head, "It's Daryl, okay? You're date tonight is Daryl!"

Kym felt like she'd been slapped in the face. "What?" She shouted back at Grace. "Daryl? Like Merle's little brother, Daryl? The one even Merle describes as 'cockeyed?' That Daryl?"

Grace sat up again, rolling her eyes. "That's just Merle's description, okay? I never said Daryl was 'cockeyed,' so who are you going to believe? Merle? Or your own sister?"

"I have a better question," Kym countered, not liking how Grace was trying to sell Daryl to her…Daryl, whom Kym had never met or seen, but knew via Merle's adjectives. "Why is it I have to go out with Daryl tonight?"

One more time Grace sighed, had her '_I don't wanna talk about how I screwed up_' face on, but Grace knew she was going to have to make with the details this time. She got to her feet again, put her hands on her hips…toying with that gauze pad again. "Look, something…happened…between Merle and me a few nights ago, and it scared us both pretty bad…and now he's mad and I'm confused, and we're both still scared…and I just really need to talk to him about it, but he's been avoiding me…so when I finally got him to call me back, and I suggested we go out, just to talk, he got all redneck on me, figured he had me when he went and said the only way I'd be seeing him for a date ever again was if I could find someone to go out with his 'cockeyed' brother too."

"So you 'found' me?" Kym yelled, couldn't believe she was hearing this…so much for being excited about her date…her date was Daryl Dixon! Cockeyed Daryl Dixon! And Kym just bet that Merle's little brother didn't hold a candle to blue jean boy!

"You were closest!" Grace yelled back, somewhat apologetically, but not enough, having to dodge the hair brush that Kym threw at her.

"I don't believe you'd do this to your own sister!" Kym yelled back again, and looked around for something else to throw at Grace. "What is the big deal if Merle doesn't want to see you? That's a good thing, Grace! You're no good for him! He's no good for you!" But just then Kym caught sight of that gauze pad under Grace's shirt and she sighed. "It's just a tattoo, Grace. What could it say? 'Merle forever, forever Merle?' Just…get it removed…permanent's not permanent anymore! Ink doesn't mean you have to stay with a guy!"

But Grace's face went serious and she looked across the room at Kym gravely. "It's not a tattoo." She said, and sort of had to compose herself before she went on. "It's a bite mark."

"What?" Kym got to her feet and ran to her sister like she had some idea she was just going to rip off that gauze pad and have a look for herself; a bite mark didn't make any damn sense! "How did you get bit? And by what?" Grace may have seemed really shook up by it, but to Kym, it was just strange…but then, Merle and Grace always had been strange. What the heck had they done two nights ago that ended up with Grace having a bite mark and had also put Grace and Merle in such a "scared and confused" state?

But Grace still wasn't getting into it, pushing past the whole "bite mark" admission and moving into pleading mode. "Just, please don't bail on me, Kym! I need you to go out with Daryl! I know you don't understand me and Merle, or even like me with Merle…I get it, I do…it's a pathetic relationship and I deserve better…he's old enough to be my father, he's loud and boisterous and backwards and racist and a womanizer who's cheated on me with Jezebella, Kay, Julie, Lola, Shelby, Amy, Ellie, Jae, some woman who had the initials E.O.R. embroidered on her silk Vickie's that I found shoved in his glove compartment, and even that girl with the Day of Dead tattoo. And he does like a good snort of something illegal, dangerous and controlled…but," and Grace sighed again, looked at Kym so forlornly. "We really did it this time…we're in some real trouble here…and if me and Merle don't talk about this, then it could be the end…and I don't want that, even if he'll never be anything more than some redneck asshole. I love him, Kym! So please…help me keep my man!"

**Part 2** - _Roll down the windows, turn it on up…Pour a little Crown in a Dixie cup…Get the party started…_

"I ain't understand what the hell I'm doin' this for!" Daryl grumbled, elbow propped up on the open passenger's side window of Merle's late model, primer and rust covered, crew cab pick-up. "I don't want no part 'a your Grace problem! She's crazy! I don't know whatja spend time with her for! Ain't no one in King County what don't get the feelin' somethin' bad's gonna happen when they see the two 'a ya's together, and that's usually how it goes, too! You do remember back ta' when she blowed up the propane tank to our trailer cuz you was messin' with…everythin' in a skirt?"

But Merle kep' on 'a drivin', never once made a grab for the chrome plated, fully illuminated, rebel flag emblazoned suicide knob what Merle'd clamped to the steering wheel to make for to turn the truck around. They was on their way…and no matter how reluctant Merle'd been seemin' 'bout seeing Grace, Merle weren't backin' down. He looked over at Daryl and give him a good scowl. "Ain't gotta whole lotta choices left no more with Gracie, son. Really let her get me treed this time…just gotta find my way outta it, and that means yer gonna help me."

"Damn it," Daryl growled, knowin' he'd always be there to help his brother with whatever it were what Merle needed help with…but why'd it require a sacrifice like this'n? "Cain't I help you without havin' to go on some stupid date?" He snarled, gettin' cagier. "Christ, Merle; I been with girls, but I don't date! I ain't never been on no date!"

Merle give a low, alligator type 'a growl. "I know that! Hell, it weren't for pussy, I wouldna put up with this shit my own-self! And maybe if you wasn't so cockeyed, you'd have more of a social life. But since you ain't nothin' but a cockeyed, scruffy faced, scrawny little waif, then it's gotta be up ta' me ta' see that ya get yerself some some-ways, and this is how we's gonna do it!" Merle replied, but looked straight ahead as he drove, ignoring the piece of white gauze pad taped to his forearm even as he scratched at it with the hand that didn't hold the steering wheel…somethin' was up with that gauze pad…weren't like Merle to keep a wound bandaged like he'd been keepin' this one under wraps; were almost like he was hidin' it from hisself.

That piece 'a gauze 'a taped to Merle's big forearm were a curious 'nuff thing to make Daryl ignore the "cockeyed" comment…and the "scrawny" one too…maybe Merle were bigger, but Daryl weren't "scrawny"…but mostly it were the 'cockeyed' part what stuck with Daryl…he hated it when Merle calt' him "cockeyed"…talkin' like Daryl was some sorta retard…but there were too much on Daryl's mind now to challenge none 'a what Merle'd said. Daryl had a date…weren't no gettin' outta it…and all cuz his brother his crazy-ass, on again, off again, romance with Grace had once again gone south.

But the strangest part was that Merle and Grace had seemed to be doin' just fine for a stretch of 'bout two weeks…no key marks and slashed tires on Merle's truck, no drivin' by to piss in Grace's mailbox at 4:00am, no calls from Grace to 911 'bout Merle harborin' a weapon 'a mass destruction, what turned out to be nothin' more 'an Merle's usual contagiousness with the Clap, no sneakin' over to Grace's barn in the middle 'a the night to back up the cart full 'a horse manure and empty it onto Grace's car, no propane tanks bein' blowed up…things was actually good between 'em for once…and then all of a sudden, Merle stumbles into the trailer two nights ago, pale faced and holdin' his hand over the spot a gauze pad now covered, and Daryl found hisself facin' an uncomfortable evening…with some strange chick.

"So this girl," Daryl sighed, realizing they were more than half way to Grace's place by now. "She good lookin'?"

Merle shrugged, his own thoughts clearly on a lotta things other than fightin'. "Grace says she's 'nice.'"

"'Nice'," Daryl repeated in a flustered tone. "Fuck!" And he punched the door panel.

"Hey now, boy!" Merle growled louder than Daryl ever coulda. "You best stop ta' punchin' my truck and get it straight in your cockeyed head that yer gonna do whatever you gotta do to help me get the hell outta this thing what I done got myself into with Grace! You hear me, boy?"

But before Daryl coulda answered or protested none, he watched Merle's eyes take sight 'a somethin', openin' up wide, Merle's expression more shocked 'an Daryl'd ever knowed it to be before. What were wrong with his brother? What on God's earth had Merle laid eyes on…and then Daryl'd seen it himself…right across from Grace's house…big as anythin'…

Merle stopped the truck right there in the middle 'a the road and turned straight at Daryl. "You wanna try explainin' 'at?" And he shifted one 'a them big shoulders up at the picture on the billboard, big as a school bus, the no shirt…and the jeans…and the, all a' everythin' that Daryl was turnin' the hell away from.

"What?" Daryl asked, like he didn't see nothin', but that weren't gonna work, so he finally just took a gander up ta' the billboard hisself, determined to get outta this some ways. "You some kinda ad exec now?"

But Merle just leveled a look at him and growled again. "You some kinda fancy pants, pretty boy, faggot jean wearin' model, now?" Merle glanced up at the billboard again, but only briefly, lookin' away again quick like it hurt him to see it. "I give ya what I thought was a good talkin' ta' not so very long back 'bout this kinda shit!" And then Merle went and stole another look at the billboard, long enough to read the ad. "_'Embrasse Mes Cul" jeans'... ils vont vous donner envie de_!" Merle repeated, more than impressed, in all the wrong ways. "What the fuckin' hell that means, boy?"

But Daryl just bowed up, ducked his head and was determined to get through this…but his date tonight was suddenly feelin' like a step up from where he was right now. "Why you askin' me for? I don't talk French!" He insisted, and he didn't…even if he knowed what it was that billboard said. "And whatja lookin' at? That ain't me!"

Merle shook his head though, as staunch as what Daryl was. "Sure looks like you, boy! Looks like you in a little pair a fairy britches!"

_Fairy britches_…God damn it! Daryl growled hisself. "Merle, it ain't—"

"Shut up!" Merle growled back, even louder, but then got quiet, mutterin' to hisself and a rubbin' where that gauze was on his arm. "I cain't be dealin' whichya and all yer sissy-boy proclivities right now! You cockeyed little pussy!" He hollered, and then shook his head, puttin' his big foot back on the gas and grabbin' that Reb flag suicide knob as he slowly turned the truck towards Grace's driveway, still shakin' his head and still mutterin'. "Boy had hisself a brain, he'd prolly just take it out 'an play with it…" but Merle didn't look towards Daryl as he talked, his eyes was square on Grace's house, his head still shakin'. "And he's all I got what to help me save the damn world!"


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer #1:__ I do not own any characters from "The Walking Dead." They are the property of Robert Kirkman, Glenn Mazzera and AMC. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story._

_Disclaimer #2:__ All original characters, including those based upon information graciously supplied by my readers, and the actions and beliefs of those original characters, are of my own interpretations and should not be assumed to completely represent, as a whole, the individual who agreed to become part of this story. _

_Special Credits:__ "Drunk On You" by Luke Bryan – Drywall & Kym's theme… _

**Guns and Roses**

Chapter 2 – _…you're lookin' so good in what's left of those blue jeans, drip of honey on the money make her gotta be the best buzz I'm ever gonna find…_

Was it okay to…touch her? Likely not…Daryl ain't even talked to her yet…but it weren't like Kymmie'd been real talkative towards him neither…they hadn't 'a progressed past just lookin' at each other and sorta gettin'…well, giggly. But Daryl was kinda likin' it…despite how that kinda shit definitely weren't him…and it was annoyin' the shit outta Merle, which sorta made it more fun to be doin'…and Kymmie…Grace's little sister…she just 'a kept on doin' it back…turnin' to Daryl and grinnin' at him like to let him count all her teeth…what Daryl was impressed to see she had. He weren't very confident or encouraged to know that Merle'd somehow found a date for him…and that she was _nice_. But Kym? Yeah…for being crazy Grace's little sister, she weren't bad a'tall, was sound and sane minded, unlike her older sister…in fact, Kym was…was…Daryl's grin cracked open all the way, and before he knowed it, he done heard his voice. "If you ain't a ten, you're a nine point nine!" He up and said to Kym, her green eyes twinkling when she laughed, creamy skin blushing, her finger twirtlin' her long, dark hair…and she just giggled again…Daryl doin' the same…unable to help it.

"Sweet Jesus," Daryl heard Merle sighin' and he reached across the restaurant table and grabbed up a handful 'a the individually plastic wrapped variety 'a breadsticks that was complimentary there. "Hey Daryl, which'n 'a these breadsticks you bet is most painful to have shoved up yer ass?"

"Merle!" Grace half growled at her on again/off again beau, and was tryin' to make him drop the breadsticks Merle was holdin' onto. "Leave them be! I keep tryin' to tell you that Kym and Daryl could be just the thing we need to fix this situation!" She insisted and Grace's blue eyes went right to the gauze pad taped to Merle's arm.

But Merle just kinda give Grace a little shove, "I cain't let no Dixon sit there and make the goo-goo eyes all night at some girl! Ain't nothin' what I want associated with myelf!" He growled right back at Grace and then leaned a little more across the table towards Daryl, wavin' three or four kinds a breadsticks under Daryl's nose. "Well, which'n is it do ya think, boy? Speak up!"

But Daryl's eyes went to Kym first…she were a perfect little thing…like a green eyed, dark haired angel with a really nice rack…musta been some good rack genes in Grace and Kym's family, cuz the both 'a them was blessed…Grace with 36 DDs…Daryl knowed specifically cuz Merle hardly ever shut up 'bout 'em…liked to go on about how Grace were "built like a burlap sack full 'a bobcats," whatever that even meant…liked to also mention how when Grace wore one 'a 'em push-'em-up bras that her "headlights was highbeams"…and as interestin' as that mighta been, and as well built as Grace mighta been along with it, crazy made any woman ugly…so Daryl stayed the hell away…particularly when Merle'd staggered outta the room what was his in the trailer a few nights ago when Grace were over, grabbin' a beer and declarin' wildly that "Grace fucked like a train wreck!" Merle couldn't 'a been happier or more satisfied, but no sir, that were one train ticket Daryl weren't buyin'! There just never seemed to be much good goin' on between his brother and Grace, and even when things was good between them, they still got Daryl concerned…them two, they was just bad news when they got together…bad news…like to cause pandemonium!

But Kym…well, she may not 'a been no DD…but, Daryl'd gladly trade that if'n it meant she weren't crazy like her sister! Besides, Kym didn't need to be no DD…she were a Georgia boy's dream…long eyelashes, tied up T-shirt showin' off just a little bit 'a belly button, long, tanned legs hanging outta what was left 'a them blue jeans…Daryl didn't want to take his eyes off 'a her to play some stupid "most terrible breadstick to have up the ass" game with his brother…but the longer he ignored Merle, the more insistent it were just gonna make him.

"I don't know," Daryl growled hisself, eyes quickly scanning the packages protruding from Merle's fist. "The garlic ones…now lem'me alone!" He scowled, but quickly turned back to Kym, who fortunately was findin' this breadstick shit funny, if not a touch sickenin' right before dinner.

"Garlic?" Merle repeated, soundin' utterly appalled, his face all scrunched up, Grace swattin' at him, tryin' to make him stop it, but Merle weren't takin' no notice 'a her a'tall, just gearin' up and gettin' loud at Daryl. "You look again, son! Don'tja see them sesame seeds on that'n there? You want one 'a them left behind up'n your as—"

"Merle!" Grace went and shouted now, finally gettin' to Daryl's brother 'nuff to quiet him down, but Grace was crazy…and she usually didn't waste no time 'a provin' it. She was turned to Merle now, grabbin' breadsticks from his fist and then give 'em a heave across the table, sent both Daryl and Kym duckin' 'em…breadsticks flyin' right on passed 'em both, them sesame seed ones what Merle insisted was the most painful to have up the ass 'a hittin' some dishwater blond haired woman, what was sat behind Daryl, in the back 'a the head…and she then turned sharply, glowerin' from behind her glasses at whoever had beaned her with breadsticks, blue eyes just 'a smolderin' with angry…but when she turned and saw Daryl, she all of a sudden just smiled…then more 'an smiled, straight up give him some sorta "_I know you, billboard boy_" look, recognizin' Daryl in no time, startin' now to slide outta the booth she was sat in…and then Daryl sighed…groupies were the last thing he needed right about now…and to make it even worse, Grace was about to explode at Merle, and then she did. "God damn it, but I wish that you didn't always have to be such a pain in my ass!"

And Merle just come back with a smirkin' grin and 'a dry, growlin' chortle that turned into a throaty holler by the time he spoke. "Pain in your ass, darlin'? Oh no you are not 'a layin' 'at on me!" He roared at Grace, and then his boomin' voice just got louder, "I told you that was not eee-nuff lube!"

"Oh my God!" Kym about turned white next to Daryl, her hand goin' up to her pretty face, but it weren't just her…the whole restaurant gasped…exceptin' for Merle and Grace, who was too busy starin' each other down with narrowed eyes, tryin' to find a new weapon what to take to one another, but Kym didn't notice just turned and looked at Daryl like she wanted to hide. "I…I feel like I should apologize to you for having to hear that…but, he's your brother who just said it, not my sister."

But her reaction made Daryl smile…and start gettin' a little schemin'…Kym clearly was worried after somethin' happenin' tonight, or bein' said, what might run Daryl off…and that was the one thing that pretty, little Dixon boy's delight didn't want. Yeah…like Daryl were goin' anywhere. He just give a laugh, looked back at Grace, who was still starin' Merle down somethin' fierce.

"Just wait…I know your sister…you'll be apologizin' for somethin' what'll come outta her mouth soon 'nuff." He promised Kym…then sorta shifted himself in the booth he shared with her, tryin' to think…would be awful nice to touch her…how'd that move go? The one where was s'posed to yawn and then end up with his arm around a girl? No, it weren't yawnin' what he was s'posed to do…it were stretchin'! Stretch his arms out all big, then bring one down around Kym's shoulders…yeah…settin' next to her in this booth at whatever restaurant they was at was perfect for that sorta thing…and then, before Daryl could even get nervous 'bout gettin' 'r done, it were done…him holdin' Kym all cuddled up next to him…that sweet, little thing knowin' just how to go and lay her head on his shoulder…the two 'a them lookin' on at Merle and Grace…who was now arguin' about a voodoo woman 'a all things and both pointin' at the gauze pad on Merle's arm, and also at a matchin' one what was taped to Grace's side…damn…what the hell they'd do to both need bandagin' up like 'at?

But who cared? Daryl was now settin' with the Grace's pretty little sister, who weren't crazy, and things was goin' good too…let Merle and Grace fight all they liked, let 'em take their time…Daryl were havin' a good time all pressed up against Kymmi…they was all set to be gettin' giggly again…and that's when that dishwater blond haired woman in the glasses was suddenly standin' there at alongside their booth, 'a tossin' that pack 'a anal assault sesame seed breadsticks onto the table.

"I do believe you all dropped those?" She said assumingly, and her blue eyes was all over Daryl…just devourin' him up as she sorta sucked at her full, sumptuous lips…yeah…she recognized him alright...and thanks to Merle and Grace's yellin' it had made the whole restaurant turn and look their way, and behind Ms. Dishwater blond was a whole line of women what recognized Daryl…and to top it all off, pretty, little, tied up T-shirt Kym were also lookin' up at Daryl like she knew too. But then, Daryl's billboard were right across from her house…so…yeah.

Kym give a quick glance at the line of Daryl's adorin' female fans…least, he hoped they was all female…sometimes there was this Asian fella in a ball cap what turned up…not the kinda thing Daryl needed happenin' on a date…but the coast looked to be clear a' that. Kym looked back up at Daryl and she just smiled, both 'a them ignoring Merle and Grace…but Merle and Grace kept on talkin' about that voodoo woman, and a curse…and bite marks…each of 'em pointin' the finger at the other over just which of 'em it was what caused it all…but Daryl wanted no part 'a whatever that new kinda crazy was between 'em. He just focused on Kymmi…she was beautiful…made him wanna cup both his hands over her cheeks and—what? Kiss her? Here? While his asshole brother and her crazy sister sat there yellin' 'bout things like ass lube and voodoo women? Shit…but Kym was near abouts perfect…so not what he was expectin' when he'd learned his date tonight was Grace's sister!

Kym just looked back at Daryl and she smiled. "I knew it was you when I saw you," she confessed, sorta acknowledgin' the long line 'a women and then lookin' back up at Daryl and she laughed, diggin' in her purse for somethin' what Daryl thought kinda strange to be takin' on a date initially, but now…it were like Kymmi was psychic. She was all sorts into him, Daryl could tell that much, but apparently, she didn't mind that he had a public to be attended to, cuz she just sighed and set what she'd gone to retrieve on the table. "And it looks like it's a good thing I brought a camera."

_Author's Note:__ I really do hope you are all laughing, and the really funny thing is that I thought that this story was going to be a oneshot! Had to divide this chapter…didn't want to…I wanted to put all the reader stuff in this one…but there was so much that it wasn't realistic to squish it all in like an fat guy in skinny So, the 2__nd__ part with a lotta reader stuff will be up soon…it was just getting too long, and I kept changing things, and it's 3:13am…so, you know my pathetic song and dance now!lol And…new thing with this story: since I'm writing this for my faithful reviewers, I thought it appropriate to respond to all of your reviews in the forum, rather than at the end of chatpers. Whatja think of that idea? So, Sunday morning-afternoonish, that's wht I'll be doing! Thank you all for reading and for reviewing, sorry this chapter got chopped and hiccupped up, but more is coming and everyone keep their eyes peeled for themselves! Thanks again, and Special Thanks to SUNNYMUFFINS for agreeing to a cameo part in this chapter! The rest of you are coming soon! Thanks one more time and happy weekend! See you in the forum for discussion! - Grace_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer #1:__ I do not own any characters from "The Walking Dead." They are the property of Robert Kirkman, Glenn Mazzera and AMC. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story._

_Disclaimer #2:__ All original characters, including those based upon information graciously supplied by my readers, and the actions and beliefs of those original characters, are of my own interpretations and should not be assumed to completely represent, as a whole, the individual who agreed to become part of this story. _

_Special Credits:__ "Drunk On You" by Luke Bryan – Drywall & Kym's theme… _

**Guns and Roses**

Chapter 3 – "_Hey, I'm a little drunk on you, and high on summertime…"_

Grace was right; Daryl Dixon was good looking! And Merle, he was wrong; Daryl wasn't "cockeyed!" Well, not a lot cockeyed anyway…maybe just a little bit around the edges…like when the one of his billboard adoring, female fans who had been standing in line to meet him came up and had nothing for him to sign but the book she'd had her nose in, with a half written poem, or song sticking out of it…something about "Daryl the Redneck Reindeer Rows a Boat" that Kym couldn't really follow…and Daryl didn't take any notice of…he was too busy trying to decide if there was a certain page to write his name on…when the petite, little adoring female fan of his up and nervously says to him, "My name's Amanda."

Daryl nodded, starting to write something to her, when she quickly, anxiously reached up and stayed his hand a moment, looked right at him and said, "Daryl, I love you! Can I take you home?"

The look on her face was priceless, Kym taking that moment to snap a picture with her camera, and Daryl just looking back at Amanda, so totally clueless, and telling her, "You don't wanna drive all the way up the mountain to drop me off. Besides, I gotta ride!"

Kym giggled, Daryl was so adorable, and he apparently wasn't going to be one that was going to be all showy and try to make her jealous…he really wasn't used to female attention and acted as though he wasn't sure what it was about him that had all these women lined up to meet him. But on the other side of the table, his older brother was hitting his limit for how adorable Daryl could be, had been grumbling for some time now, Grace trying her best to get Merle's attention back on her…per usual…but this time, Grace really seemed to have something she wanted Merle to know…only Merle was far too distracted and irate from watching his little brother signing autographs.

"Kymmi!" Merle leaned across the table at her and said, his big arm extended as he pointed at her with the hand he wore that wrist cuff on…and also a gauze pad all of a sudden, looking like nothing to mess with…which Merle wasn't, of course. "I know ya don't think much 'a me on the surface, girl. But ya gotta admit we've had our times together, ain't we now, darlin'?" He half grinned and half leered, trying to butter her up for something, but leaving Kym to hope Merle wasn't about to imply anything that never happened, just to somehow piss his brother off. _Eeewww_, there was just something unsettling about the thought of Merle buttering her up…Kym didn't want any Merle-butter…save that for Grace! And Grace was already trying to quiet Merle down, but Merle obviously had a point to make and stayed focused on Kym, who thought that maybe she should try to distract him before he did go and say something that would purposefully piss off Daryl.

"Sure Merle, we have had some good talks, and I can always count on you to kick anyone's ass if they need it," Kym paused a moment and couldn't help smiling wickedly, "or if I just think they need it," she admitted, also eliciting a grin from Merle, but then all the other "times" she'd had with Merle came racing back to her…Merle…Grace loved him for whatever reason that she did, but how did anyone deal full on with Merle Dixon without at some point having to run away screaming? "Of course, there have also been those times when I woke up in the morning to find that you borrowed my pink Victoria's Secret lace shorty robe…and was sitting on the couch watching some deer killing show, eating pork rinds for breakfast, without a stitch of clothing between you and my delicates!"

But Merle just smirked, like he thought he was cute…and he was wrong, but that didn't worry him any. "Wouldja ruther find me on your couch, eatin' pork rinds and watchin' huntin' shows, without a stitch a clothes on, period?" And then he sort of chuckled in a way that worried Kym. "Cuz, I gotta tell ya, sweet thing, that can be arranged!"

"Oh, so now we're back together and you're spending the night again?" Grace narrowed her eyes up at Merle and grit out, obviously not having been getting wherever it was she was hoping to be getting with Merle tonight.

Merle narrowed his eyes right back at Grace, almost gorilla like, and growled. "Maybe I ain't comin' ta' see you!"

At that remark Kym flinched, threw her hands up in front of her. "Well you're not coming to see me!" And then for some reason she felt obliged to add, "you can keep your Merle-butter!"

"What?" Daryl suddenly burst out, having only heard half of what was going on, and was looking powerfully concerned by what he had heard, and it was all very sweet in a way to know that upset Daryl, Kym feeling all sorts of happy and flattered to see that little spark of jealousy, but Merle didn't give anyone a chance to explain anything to Daryl.

"Shut up, ya cockeyed, little pipsqueak!" He hollered across the table. "Jest 'a go on, impressin' every little girl up in this here high falootin' shithole with how ya can spell yer name and…and…work 'at ass, or whatever sissy-fied shit it is ya got yerself ta' doin' in front 'a camera's now!"

"It ain't like 'at!" Daryl yelled back, but when he did, Kym was surprised and delighted to feel Daryl grab her hand up quickly, then glance over at her and then look back at his brother again, confidently standing his ground against the older, scarier Dixon…who Kym had seen in pink lace...ha ha. "Kym don't mind, none! Do ya, Kym?"

_Oh wow_…Kym felt a girlish little giggle coming on, but she pushed it back…_but oh wow_…Daryl battling back against his brother via her approval…Daryl Dixon cared what it was she thought about him! And she had to do him proud too, so she sat up a little straighter and took a better hold of Daryl's strong, rough hand…_oh wow_…if just his hand felt this manly, what did the rest of him feel like? "No, I don't mind!" Kym announced boldly, then turned a smile Daryl's way and made him flinch and exhale suddenly, almost like a snorting bull, when she surprised him by stroking the palm of his calloused hand with her fingertip. "I don't mind at all." She drawled at him…Daryl looking at her now kind of lost, their eyes searching each other's out; all kinds of things starting bloom and fizz and bubble between them…until…

"Don't y'all jest 'a make my ass itch!" Merle yelled next, pointing at Kym and Daryl again, but mostly at Kym. "This is what I be tryin' ta' talk ta' ya 'bout, Kymmi-girl! And ya better get ta' listenin'!" Merle shook his head, all flustered, but his finger never went away, just pointed at Kym like he was holding her in place with it, and he kind of was; he'd totally broken up the magic that was starting to grind between her and Daryl…major suck factor! But then, that was Merle's intention…he had something to say. "Been some changes between me and yer sister here, girl, and what they is means I'ma hafta step up and take care 'a you a little better 'an what I have been in the past by just soupin' up 'at little hot rod Chevy Nova 'a yers." Merle stared at Kym even more, and it was odd that he was actually sounding sincere…but yeah, any time Kym had a car problem, one word to Merle and it was taken care of…but, what more did he mean to "step up" and do for her, and why? Merle was still being kind of cryptic, but he continued once Kym looked him in the eyes back…kind of a scary thing to do. "So I'm steppin' up, girl. I'm steppin' up right now, and I'm 'a tellin' ya…ya can do better 'an 'at scrawny, little, sissy-boy pants wearin' twit!" Merle said forcefully, and then that big arm with the finger that had been pointed at her was redirected towards Daryl with an emphasizing hard poke to Daryl's shoulder.

"God damn it, Merle!" Both Daryl and Grace said almost in unison, but Daryl was quickly distracted by yet another female adorer, Grace however, wasn't, and gave Merle a shove in his broad chest hard enough to draw his attention down on her, and he growled at her…made Kym hope that Grace would back off of him…sometimes, Merle actually wasn't that bad…but when he was bad, well, he was bad! But of course Grace didn't back off at all…Daryl was right; Grace was kind of crazy…and when Grace was crazy, she was crazy!

"Merle! You need to stop antagonizing them away from each other!" Grace was insisting, sounding very frantic and almost panicked. "You know as well as I do what Madame Julie said about the curse we set into motion! If Kym and Daryl get to liking each other, maybe they can reverse it!"

"Curse?" Kym repeated, kind of nudging Daryl's arm, wanting him to pay attention to this since it was beginning to feel like her sister was shoving Daryl and her together like two bunnies in a hutch, but Merle and Grace just got right back to fighting with each other and Daryl was embroiled with his latest fan, who was smiling at him with her hair in a bun, wearing glasses, rocking a tightly fitted, yet conservative, white blouse and pencil skirt and looking totally sexy librarian.

"Hi, make it out to Melanthia," she told Daryl as she slid a bookmark across the table at him, still smiling a perfectly purring smile that had Kym wondering about just how much Merle would "step up" for her if she asked him too…Kym was starting to see another ass what needed kicking…but poor, adorable, clueless Daryl wasn't picking up on the obvious signals in front of him, he was just signing his name, asking how to spell "Melanthia" which of course made the librarian laugh all sultry like before she told him, and then with a real touch of library themed sexiness, she added, "You should '_look me up'_ sometime! I'm good game cook…whatever you've got in your 'game bag,' I can 'make it hot' for you!"

"What?" Daryl's head popped up from the bookmark he was signing and he looked right at the librarian, still totally clueless, and it was still adorable, but Kym was fuming.

She was just about to say something…something awful, and Kym wasn't even sure why she'd taken so much offense, she' only just met Daryl…but still…she was going to tell off that librarian…but then, Grace got her cage fighter face on and pushed Kym right out of her way. "Thank you," Grace glared at the stuck up library bitch. "But Daryl will be 'cookin' with someone else tonight!"

"What?" Daryl asked again…again…how many times was he going to ask that…uh-oh, what if he really was "cockeyed?" No…Kym knew Daryl wasn't as bad off as Merle always made him out, even if Daryl was now looking around at everyone, still adorably lost, not getting the meanings of the hovering librarian woman, or Grace now. But just like Merle was nothing to mess with, neither was Kym's sister…and after huffing some, the librarian just grabbed up her autograph and walked off unscathed, Kym sighing in relief, turning to wrap both her arms around the muscled one of Daryl's that hung out of his sleeveless red plaid shirt he wore so well, but one more time, there was Merle's finger pointing at her and another lecture set to spew from his mouth.

"See what I mean, Kymmi?" Merle was saying again, clearly agitated with how Daryl had been completely unaware that the librarian was coming onto him in a major way. "Git yerself a real man! I swear to blazes, but I think 'em fairy britches he got his picture made wearin' done addled what was left 'a his cockeyed brain!"

"Merle! For the last time—" Grace started in again, but Merle, still focused on Kym, and shut Grace down.

"I know! I know! Voodoo woman Madame Julie and all like 'at…but shut up, woman! This is our sister what I'm tryin' to do right by here!" Merle argued back, and turned right back to Kym, who was more confused than ever.

Daryl, though, was dealing with his latest, next in line fan…a rather spastically excited woman, so alive and so vibrant with a smart, funny energy that it was impossible not to be somehow drawn to her…even if she did have three rats crawling all over her, though she didn't seem to mind them at all…she just raced right up Daryl and after a series of "oh my God's" said, "I'm Lola, and I'm a star!" but then thought for a second and decided to change things, bravely waved away what most folks would have inhibited themselves with in order to act proper and rephrased what she'd said to "No, I'm Lola 'porn' star!". But Daryl just nodded, took no notice and started to write his name again, which only helped infuriate Merle further.

"Good Lord, boy!" Merle roared now and brought his big, heavy fist down on the table top with a heavy thump. "Ain'tcha got some Dixon dick in yer pants, or is that just a nice yella 'nanner what ya packed away for a snack?" Merle hollered, then started grumbling again about how, "'em fairy britches musta really played some ping-pong with yer balls!"

And that was it for Kym, she'd been through enough for now, and it didn't matter if Merle was scary, or that they'd had some good times, or that he was confusing her with that "our sister" comment he'd made, Kym was going to set him straight…in whatever way she could think of that was the least confrontational…Merle was scary! She sighed, trying to think…but then she had it…and this was good! It was even a little flirty…and Daryl seemed to get flirty when it was coming from her! "You know Merle, if it's the jeans that Daryl wears that bother you the most…well then…I bet I could get them off of him, you know!" and she smiled, laughed her own sultry laugh, and wrapped her arms around Daryl's strong arm a little more as the "porn star" took her leave…with her rats.

"What?" Daryl asked one more time, but this time he gave that snorting beast kind of flinch again that was so delectable to see and feel the first time he did it, and then Daryl just looked down at Kym like he was hearing her words again in his head, and Daryl was paying lots of attention to them that time…and even though he seemed like he knew what he'd heard, he still really wanted to make sure he'd heard what he thought he heard. "Wha…just, what?"

Merle looked sort of impressed with Kym, and Grace was flat out giving Kym a thumbs up, but Merle, he was sort of reserving judgment for the most part, like waiting for Kym to really explain what she meant to his "cockeyed" brother…Merle's "cockeyed" brother who had perked right up and was more than a little interested in what he thought he heard Kym say, hadn't taken his steely blue, Dixon eyes off of Kym since she'd said what she'd said.

Again Kym smiled, looked up at Daryl. "You know," she told him and liked the way Daryl smiled back and let her sort of nuzzle into him some. "Might be a time when…pants will only get in the way of…the rhythm and the beat of what we're up to." There, that sounded good, almost like something Grace would have written in one of her stories…Kym's smile grew bigger, and sexier…but Daryl furrowed his brow again…uh-oh…she should have known, Dixon boys weren't used to that much poetry.

"You ain't talkin' 'bout dancin' are you?" He asked objectionably, screwing up his face and all, but before Kym could even sigh Merle was shaking his head and growling again.

"Yeah, dance her, Daryl!" Merle cut at his brother with heavy sarcasm. "Dance her hard!"

Daryl shook his head, but thankfully forewent asking that eternal question of his, while Kym just sighed helplessly. She was beginning to wish they all hadn't driven here in Merle's old crew cab together; she was really wishing she and Daryl could go somewhere and just be alone, if for no other reason than to get away from Merle's hollering and spouting off, and also Grace's bickering with Merle too…and to maybe get a little of that "dancing" in that Merle mentioned…hmm…but it was only a first date…but, then again, it wasn't…didn't ogling Daryl's billboard for as long as Kym had been ogling it count for something? But then Grace went rushed to Kym and Daryl's defense again by turning to Merle one more time with a real topper of a sentence about to come out of her mouth.

"Merle," Grace began, full of righteousness. "You do understand that just like Kym is 'our' sister now, that also means that Daryl is 'our' brother now too, don't you?"

"Wha—" Daryl damn near popped up and said again, but this time, without realizing it, Kym's hand flew up and covered his mouth…Daryl had said that enough for one night…she was only trying to improve his "cockeyed" image in front of Merle…and then Kym felt the bristle of Daryl's scraggily chin beard on her skin as he rolled his head forward enough to all of a sudden sneak a little kiss in on the palm of her hand…and she shivered big time…nearly forgot all about whatever the hell all that "our sister" and "our brother" crap was that Grace and Merle were now picnicking on each other with…one little kiss…to Kym's palm…and it just zoomed right through and got in her blood…wow…good stuff!

Merle was already laughing though, like he found what Grace said about "our brother" really funny in a pathetic way. "Yeah…'at would make Darleena yer brother too," and Merle laughed some more. "Guess you got the short end the ol' stick on that'n, Grace!" He half yelled, sounding satisfied, like that disclosure was a real put down for Kym's sister, but Grace didn't look put down at all; no, she'd just found some kind of advantage in what she'd gotten Merle to admit to…but what the hell was all of this "our" crap?

"Well, here's how it is then, Merle," Grace began in an informing tone then took a quick look across the table to Daryl. "I'm not going to let you sit here all night and defame 'my' brother! I value my family a little more than that, and if you can't understand what that means, and continue on at Daryl like this, well…then you're really walking on the fightin' side of me, Merle!"

Kym and Daryl looked at one another, both kind of impressed, if not both still very confused, but at least Daryl refrained from asking "what" again…but the only one who wasn't impressed was the one Grace was trying to impress the most. Merle was just bowing up now, accepting Grace's challenge and leaned over her, broad shoulders hunched and big fists clenched. Wow…Merle was scary! When the pink lace came off, it came off!

"And jest 'a what are you gonna do about it?" Merle's voice sounded almost calm, in contrast to his war-like pose, a scene as eerie as the stillness that always was before a twister touched down. But once again, Grace was gathering up her crazy and standing her ground against Merle, both Kym and Daryl just along for the ride at this point.

Grace balled up her own fist and then gave the gauze pad on Merle's arm a good whack with it, sending a shot of hurt firing through Merle that lit up his face with agony and made him groan deep and sudden. "That!" Grace cut at him, adding insult to injury.

Kym swore she saw fire in Merle's eyes through the pain…and she knew Merle had a pretty good tolerance for pain too, but whatever was under that gauze pad her sister had thumped on, it must have really hurt, because Merle was still wincing and shaking it off, and getting a lot angrier too. In a flash, Merle pushed Grace almost all the way down, yanking at her shirt tail…right there, in the restaurant…what…should Kym…stop him? How? Daryl was starting to scramble across the table beside her, and he looked like maybe he'd had to put himself in between Grace and Merle a time or two, but Merle moved too fast to be stopped.

"Ya got yer own bitemark, woman! I know! I put it there!" Merle roared, and the give Grace's side, where Kym knew her sister had a gauze pad too, not so much of a punch as it was sort of a slap, no harder than what she'd seen Merle take to Grace's ass when he was in a good mood…only when that slap and Grace's gauze pad came together, it really sent Grace howling and reeling, the pain from it every bit as intense as was what Merle felt in his arm.

There was now a lot of commotion and carrying on at their booth, both Daryl and Kym looking at one another like they hoped the other might know what to do about it all, Daryl finally deciding on distracting her sister and his brother and gathering words enough to talk, looking at both Merle and Grace with some serious contempt. "Y'all done bit each other?" Daryl yelled at them, so baffled and disturbed by what his brother revealed about the gauze patches. "What in hell ya doin' shit like 'at for?"

Merle looked up from torturing Grace just long enough to give Daryl a look like Daryl really was stupid, even though not even Kym was understanding what the hell any of this meant…why the hell would Merle and Grace bite each other? Who did that kind of stuff? What, were they vampires now? Werewolves? Great White Sharks? Sharks? How'd she get from werewolves to sharks? Whatever, Kym just held Daryl's hand and hoped it would all make sense soon…and then maybe even get back to normal too…as normal as normal was gonna get with Merle Dixon sitting across from her…Merle Dixon, who had bit her sister on the side…Merle Dixon, who her sister had bitten on the arm…good Lord…

But Merle just kept looking at Daryl like he was supposed to know what might have possessed Grace and Merle to bite each other. "Shit boy," Merle sighed at Daryl, like Daryl was just the stupidest thing he'd ever encountered, like Daryl was somehow supposed to have pieced together the significance of the bitemarks. "Bit each other cuz we was wantin' something truly permanent-like! Anyone can wear a weddin' ring!"

_Author's Note:__ Special Thanks to __**Equal-Opportunity-Reader, Melanthia Chase, BeingLolaStar **__and __**TheBoneyKingOf Nowhere**__ for participating in this chapter and this story! If "you" have not appeared in this story yet, don't worry, you will soon! I'm trying to spread everyone's cameo out so there will always be something to look forward to! And, we'll see more of "Madame Julie" soon, too! _

_***CONTEST TIME***__ A special prize (not much, just a B&B inspired icon picture) is now on the line for the first reader who can tell me what the musical significance (or the intended pun) is of the following line from this chapter: __**"…**_**you're really walking on the fightin' side of me, Merle!"**__

_Thank you all for reading and for commenting, and being the kind of people who not only have helped me create and maintain "Badass and Beauty" as the story it has become, but for also being marvelous enough readers to inspire this piece of silliness as well! This is one of the most fun things I've ever written, and it is all because you! And I promise…one day I will get in the forum and discuss this story with you all…I just need someone to kindly add about 3 or 4 hours to a day so I have time to do that!lol_

_And thank you to LISABOSTON, RAINBOWSHELBY, THEDOGISGONE, AMTSY, BEINGLOLASTAR and CODEBLUEEYES987 for subscribing to this story, and special thanks also to ARTIFICIAL HERO and to my darling "sister" VERITASKYM for making this story one of their favorites! I'm so happy and so fortunate to be sharing it with such wonderful people! Thank you all again! – Grace, aka "Grace" _


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer #1:__ I do not own any characters from "The Walking Dead." They are the property of Robert Kirkman, Glenn Mazzera and AMC. I also do not own any characters from "Slither" or "The Boondock Saints." Those character rights belong to James Gunn and Troy Duffy, respectively. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story._

_Disclaimer #2:__ All original characters, including those based upon information graciously supplied by my readers, and the actions and beliefs of those original characters, are of my own interpretations and should not be assumed to completely represent, as a whole, the individual who agreed to become part of this story. _

_Special Credits:__ "__Eight Second Ride__" by Jake Owen – Merleman & Grace's theme_

"_Country Girl__" by Luke Bryan_

_NOTE:__ If you don't know what TruckNutz are, paste this link into your browser:_

_ /f-store/hitch_ _

**Guns and Roses**

Chapter 4 – _"And she said, 'hey boy, do you mind takin' me home tonight? Cuz I ain't ever seen a country boy with tires on his truck this high.' I said, 'climb on up but honey, watch the cup where I'm spitin' my dip inside. And hold on tight 'cause it's gonna be wilder than any 8 second ride!'"_

"Graciella, I take you…'til I cain't take you no more!" That were as much of 'a 'I do' weddin' vow what anyone were gonna get outta Merle, and the old fart in the suit, what stood in front of 'em at the courthouse, readin' from the marryin' book, took Merle's words as gospel 'nuff to go on and say "man and wife"…that were what he said…"man and wife," and then it was out to the truck…so full up 'a bein' married and wantin' for to consummate it that Grace'd had her hungry hands all kinds 'a under Merle's shirt, grabbin' and rubbin' up so much his chest that it done woke up what wasn't gonna be bedded back down again 'til one 'a the two of 'em was screamin' Merle's name! It were almost like the truck done pulled itself over into some farmer's field, and once it were parked back behind the corn, it was on…'man and wife' style!

And it were good…real damn good fuckin'! But that always were the one thing what Merle and Grace ever done right one hundred percent 'a the time anyway…but, shit…if they' was only gonna get one thing right, better be makin' it the fuckin'! And yeah…it was some good fuckin'…the kind what give Merle some idea to permanently put the word "amazin'" before his new wife's first name…blasphemous as that mighta been…the missionary position were 'bout as churchy as what Grace went and got, after all.

But it were amazin' fuckin'…best fuckin' a Merle's life…felt almost like they was makin' somethin' ta' happen…like the more they got inta' it and inta' each other, the more somethin' was combinin' between the two 'a them, somethin' that had been needin' him and Grace to be gettin' it on this good so that it could be called forth outta some place deep and dark and powerful, and it were blowin' 'round in the air, turnin' to some torrent what hovered there, waitin' for some kinda release so it could go to wherever it had been conjured to go to.

But it weren't no big, wet, sticky, splooge 'a moneyshot type a' release that dark power what Merle and Grace had made for to be born was lookin' for. No…it wasn't wantin' no jizz…it was wantin' blood…and flesh! Flesh…the word got in Merle's head somehow, and that were 'bout when Merle felt like he wanted to put some kinda mark on Grace…some kinda somethin' what was always gonna be there…and before he knowed it, he'd had his teeth 'a sunk into her side, through her white skin, down damn near against bone…a good deep, bite 'a her in his mouth…and Grace were doin' the same to him, her teeth buried in the sinews 'a Merle's forearm…the two 'a them 'a latched onta' one another like a snake tryin' to swallow its own damn tail…and that dark power started to get inn-tense…riled right up and shot off like a bullet…out in the world now, a doin' shit what felt bad…real bad…worser 'an what Merle coulda imagined anythin' bein' bad, and Merle could imagine, and had done, a lotta bad in his life…but that dark force what he and Grace had somehows a let loose was some serious, black, bleak shit!

And then, '_poof_', there she was, Madame Julie…give her hands a wave, sprinkled some dust, said some kinda Frenchy words and then somehows blowed herself, and the both 'a Grace and Merle hisself..both 'a wearin' brand new bite marks, into her weirdo voodoo lair out in the middle 'a nowhere on Belgian Creek. And Madame Julie were one perplexed voodoo woman…classy lookin' blonde though…wearin' a cute little red sundress what had little polka dots all over it…and Merle'd already been fixin' to tell her he were "jest 'a countin' 'em polka dots" if she up and started givin' him shit 'bout ogglin' 'at elegant body 'a hers…fine lookin' woman though…had Merle ta' regrettin' she hadn't 'a showed up before he'd gone and married up with and bit down on Grace!

"The curse! You've done it! The curse!" She kept ta' wailin', a runnin' 'round her shack full 'a bones with her lady-white hands a clutchin' her head like a crown on a king.

She turned to 'em both, all scoldin'-like, Merle gettin' the feelin' like this voodoo queen had been keepin' some sorta eye on him and Grace for some time now…like they'd been somethin' what beared watchin', like the gauge on some kinda paranormal safety valve or some shit.

"Oh hell," Grace got to groanin' and then sent a hard look Merle's way what he didn't understand jest then, but Grace looked back towards the mysterious Madame Julie. "He knocked me up, didn't he? That's what the curse is, ain't it? He knocked me up and now I'm gonna be the mama of some awful, terrible, Posse Comitatus, NRA Lifetime Member, monster truck drivin', tobacco chewin', no good, redneck beast, aren't I?"

"Non, mon Cherie," Madame Julie had sighed, shakin' her head like she were exasperated with the both 'a them already, and then she jest give Grace a look, with a quick glace and Merle. "What is it about _les homes Dixon_? All day long, I have desperate women coming to me, giving me the money to make the love spell for the one on the billboard in the jeans…just this morning even, came _une juene femme_ with the pretty long, brown hair and the cute glasses, more timid than she should be for one so very pretty…and she ask me to make the one known as 'Daryl' to fall in love with her…said they would be _parfait_ together because she understands the fishing out of anyone's pond, and the racing of the lawn mowers…said she wanted a date with Daryl deep in the woods, with only the sound of the wind blowing through the trees…" Madame Julie sighed some, rolled her eyes and flung her voodoo woman self down in a rickety chair by her cook pot what hung on the fire. "All day long for me it is 'Daryl', 'Daryl', 'Daryl'…" she complained and sighed again, "But Daryl, he is the good one...he shines with so much light, up there, on his billboard, in his beautiful jeans! The women they adore him for how _magnifique_ he is on his outside and for how _bien de l'ame_ he is on the inside…_oui_…Daryl is the good one!" Madame Julie were smilin' and ravin' and carryin' on…like to make Merle puke…but then she cut all the happy horseshit 'bout his brother and give Grace another scoldin' look. "But you!" And she point her finger at Grace. "It is the _mauvais_ one that you want? The brother who can only bring trouble where ever he goes! And you want him because you are the trouble yourself! You…you…fight in the cage, you fight in the game of the hockey…you drink too much and steal the toothbrushes of the innocent!"

Grace looked offended but Merle got ta' laughin'. "Think she done got yer number, Gracie, darlin'!"

"Shut up!" Grace bit him back.

"_Fermez vos bouches_ the both of you!" Madame Julie yelled next, then held her pretty blonde head again, a shakin' it like she were really at the end 'a her voodoo rope. "The gods have been showing you that many bad things happen when you are together…but you won't pay attention!" She were really worked up, makin' a strange face as she pulled her fingers through 'at golden, hair what she had pulled back, the sides of it hangin' loose, makin' her look like some kinda enticin' little 1920's flapper minx…but she weren't in no mood to be flirted with…and Merle had jest 'a got married too…and hell, some ways or another, he'd ended up with his clothes back on, Grace too…so now Merle's best attribute what he coulda tried to sway Madame Julie with was all tucked away and covered up again anyway. Not that Madame Julie woulda noticed what Merle was packin'…she were upp-set! "And now you marry?" Madame Julie gasped at 'em, like she jest 'a couldn't believe what Merle and Grace done did, like they'd crossed every "T" and dotted every "I" in some sorta evil. "And then you bite? _Mon Dieu_x! You've set about the worst of all the plagues! It will consume the every living thing on the earth, the same as your reckless desires have consumed your better senses!"

'Better senses'…like they'd ever been any use ta' Merle! His 'better sense' sure ain't what lead him here to this fancy-pants restaurant, 'a watchin' Grace tryin' fer to set up her lil' sister with his cockeyed, fancy-pants wearin' little brother, all cuz Grace b'lieved what Madame Julie said 'bout Daryl bein' "the good one." Grace was thinkin', and a hopin', that if she rubbed Merle's "good" brother up against her "good" lil' sister, that maybe, jest 'a maybe, that would somehow reverse the curse what she'd set into motion by marryin' and bitin' Merle. But Merle were doubtful…Daryl weren't 'at damn 'good!'

But Merle and Grace together was that damn bad…hell, even he could see how he and Grace weren't no good for each other…they was just good together…weren't the same thing, but…shit…double shit…on a stick…bein' good together were 'nuff to be gettin' Merle to love her…yeah…he loved Grace…but it weren't like he wanted to be with her! That woman drove him inn-sane enough to need to get the hell away from her at times! But not ta' recently…they'd jest 'a been gettin' on so good for such a long string 'a days…and 'a even longer string 'a nights, that it up and possessed Merle to go and marry her…even if the whole time he was 'a standin' there next to her 'a sayin' "I do" he knowed it was likely to all go to hell at some point…shit usually did with Grace…but he ain't never x'pected it to go quite ta' the kinda hell what it done gone to!

But before it all gone ta' hell, yeah, it were pretty good…weddin' night gettin' on in a manner so fine in the back 'a Merle's old primer and rust covered crew cab pick-up, that they was like some kinda scene outta 'a real good triple "X" flick starrin' Tantra Nipslip and Mean Dean Dick Hanger 'emselves! Him and Grace had that whole damn truck 'a rockin' harder than the time a year or so back when they'd been 'a makin' up from how she'd got mad with him for hookin' up with Amy, that nursin' student what he'd come across down at the Wizard World Bar…

Amy…yeah…girl was tryin' to drown her sorrows in Marvin Gaye…somethin' 'bout how she didn't get into some class, or whatever, at her school…said how she coulda really "used a hug," but shit…why stop there? She done told Merle some sexy joke 'bout a "brown chicken and a brown cow"…and Merle moved in ta' shut 'at barn door and give her more 'an 'a hug…she said she'd 'a been in the gym 'a workin' on her arms, and Merle b'lieved it; ain't no woman what ever wrapped up 'around his body quite like what 'at one did! Shee-itt…pretty damn good time in the men's room 'a the Waffle House with Amy 'at night…and then Grace found out…

Grace give Merle's _Red Man_ chaw a colossal sprinklin' 'a the hottest red peppers she could find for what he done, burnt a blister onta' the inside 'a his cheek what made him hafta chew on only t'other side a' his mouth for damn near a week! And Merle swore when he saw Grace again he was gonna really go and give it to her then…which he ended up doin'…only not the way he'd 'a spent so much time 'a threatenin' to…but he give it to her…good…violently good…so violently good the fuckin' they was doin' rocked Merle and Daryl's trailer right offa the blocks what supported it in one corner…the whole trailer give a heave, steel groaned, and then lurched downwards at one corner and snapped up high at the opposite one, hittin' against the ground with a "boom."

It all sent Daryleena's pansy ass 'a scramblin' about in the next room, yellin' how when the single wide shifted all sudden like, the brass chrome set 'a them _TruckNutz_ what Merle rigged to swing back and forth as the pendulum part 'a their Cuckoo Clock, went flyin' off, hit Daryl in the face and give him a black eye…jest sorta savagely teabagged him…and 'at were funny as hell! And it were a great night with Grace too…kinda night what made Merle decide on marryin' her…even if it was becomin' clear now that it always was that whenever Merle got with Grace, bad shit did kinda start to happenin'…busted up the trailer…broke the damn Cuckoo Clock…Daryl nearly gettin' ball slapped to death…_shit_…Madame Julie were right…gods had been tryin' to show Merle and Grace for awhiles now…but they jest 'a wouldn't see…but they did now…they did now!

"You did too ask me! Don't go making the end of the world out to be my fault!" Grace was shoutin' now, carryin' on, causin' a scene…jest 'a like a woman…jest 'a like a redhead…jest 'a like Grace…weren't nothin' Merle could do but try ta' keep denyin' the part he'd played in the ultimate destruction, but he was gonna end up losin' eventually…always did. "How in hell would I have ended up as your wife if you never asked me to marry you in the first place, Merle Mason Dixon?"

She mighta had a point, but Merle still weren't havin' it, just sneered like hell back at her. "I'll tell ya how!" He grumbled, pointin' a finger at her and well aware 'a the looks his cockeyed brother and his brand new little sis-in-law was 'a given both him and Grace…but in the heat 'a battle, as was such now, that kinda shit didn't matter. "Were all 'a them dark powers what cast a spell on me and made me go an ask ya! I don't do that shit on my own, Grace! Particularly not with the likes a you!"

But Grace jest 'a sneered right back. "Likes 'a me?" She repeated with narrowed up eyes. "Fine…but see if I ever go bobbin' for snakes with the _likes 'a you_ ever again!"

_Oh no, she did not_! Merle were gettin' more and more steamed up, too fed up to even talk right now, but cockeyed Daryl were off an sayin' somethin' cockeyed anyways, 'a lookin' 'round the table at everyone, lost as usual. "'Bobbin' for snakes?'" He asked, his eyes finally settlin' on Kym, like she were the only one what he thought he could trust. "What the hell's that?"

Kymmi jest sorta rolled her eyes, give Daryl's hand a pat on her shoulder, where'd he put it 'round her, 'a gettin' real cozied up. "I don't know for sure, but if it's what I think it is," and then she turned to Daryl some and kinda arched 'a eyebrow. "Then when we try it, let's just hope no one gets bit!"

Daryl were shakin' his cockeyed head, face full 'a the usual questions. "Wha—"

"Don't say it!" Merle roared at him across the table, snappin' a pointed finger at his little, cockeyed brother. "Jest shut up, Fruit Loop! Got me 'nuff problems bein' married to crazy Redzilla over here and how it done turned on the curse what made all the dead rise up to eat the livin' without all yer little, shy, confused altar boy prittle-prattle added in!"

"What?" That time it were Kym what up and said the forbidden word, sittin' there beside cockeyed Daryl like she done caught his "what disease," and her pretty face were a complete blank, startled and lost and confused, her mouth movin' to ask somethin' more, but she didn't get her chance to cuz 'a how the brand new Mrs. Merle Dixon was bitin' Merle's ass again.

"You coulda changed things!" Grace spat at Merle, "Madame Julie gave you that other option of how this curse could go! It was you who chose the zombies!"

Grace bringin' 'at up had Merle full on pissed off now…bad 'nuff she were blamin' the end 'a the world on him, but added to it all was the implication what he'd gone soft 'nuff to up and go proposin' marriage…_damn_…Merle'd had it…weren't acceptin' no more blame for nothin'! He had his reasons for choosin' the damn zombies! "I ain't turnin' inta' no giant, red squid, Grace!" Merle yelled at her, for second wishin' he had a tentacle for to wrap 'round her neck. "I did 'at for you! Ya want me comin' at ya on yer weddin' night with a big forked boner 'a stuck outta my chest?"

Daryl and Kym was 'a gaspin', tryin' like hell to figure all this out, but fightin' with Grace took both hands and Merle couldn't stop to explain shit…no matter the questions cockeyed Daryl was ever present with. "'The fuck, Merle? What the hell's with a 'forked boner?'"

Merle kept his angry gaze on Grace, but growled his aggravation at Daryl. "I don't know, Daryl! Weren't in'trested 'nuff to ask! Might could be so's ya can boink up the nose for all I know, but it don't matter right now, so shut the hell up!"

"Can we please get back to the whole zombie thing?" Kym was urgin', or tryin' to, but no one on Merle's side 'a the table was payin' her any mind, Grace fumin' at Merle and Merle fumin' right back at her.

"Why don't you just admit you were scared of that scenario?" She damn near hissed at Merle, eyes like angry slits, but she were smilin' so that it was makin' it hard not to knock it off 'a her face.

Grace really were pissin' Merle off! He'd 'a been wantin' to jest be done with her ever since what Madame Julie said anyway! He growled a little more down at Grace, really sneerin' at her now. "Yer mama misspelled yer name, y'know 'at?" He asked her, set to tear into the ol' battle ax. "She forgot the 'D' the 'I' and the 'S' what goes in the front 'a yer name, cuz you is a 'disgrace' of a woman!"

But all Grace did was look madder at him and 'a crossed her arms over 'em big tits 'a hers. "Well this 'disgrace of a woman's now your wife, so what's that say about you?"

_God damn it_…crazy redheads always had ta' have the last word! "Wife…" Merle muttered under his breath, wishin' he'd brought a gun inta' dinner…maybe just goin' and shootin' Grace down woulda broke this curse them gettin' married and bitin' on each other had set into bein'? Madam Julie had said they was each immune to the zombie bites…but she didn't say nothin' 'bout gunshots, God damn it! Yeah…a gun…guns was good…weren't hardly no situation what couldn't be improved with a gun…guns…shit…fuckin' hell…_guns_! "Can't believe how it is what some states got themselves a three day waitin' period to buy a firearm, but you I end up married to inside 'a six minutes!" He turned and raged at Grace, felt his face turn red and all…but it jest didn't make no sense how that coulda been so…Grace were a whole helluva lot more aggravatin' and deadly than any gun! Guns don't kill people…bullets done killed people…and Grace made Merle crazy 'nuff to kill people too! And she were the other half 'a this curse what was gonna wipe everyone out! Why the hell weren't there no waitin' period on marryin' up with Grace?

Grace snarled, set back like to holler, but her lil' sis up and beat her to gettin' words outta her mouth, and that was good…Merle'd ruther talk to Kym right now anyways. "Who is this 'Madame Julie?'" Kym went and asked first, tryin' hard to make heads and tails outta all what Merle'd been fightin' with Grace over. Kym were a smart girl…so was her big sister, but Kym had a lot less crazy 'round her smarts than what Grace did, and that made 'em a helluva lot eaiser to access, and accessin' 'em Kym was. "You all are making this all up, aren't you?" She was askin' now and lookin' hopeful, but when neither Grace nor Merle nodded, Kym sighed. "You are, like, legally married, right? I mean, you got a marriage license and the whole deal? Or did all you two do was run off to see some…some…gypsy woman who brewed up eye of newt and hair of toes and the then pronounced you man and wife?"

Merle was noddin, lookin' to both Kymmi girl and his eye rollin', rat face little brother…Daryl was thinkin' this was some made up bullshit too…Merle could tell…but Merle was gonna let him know jest how serious it all was, startin' with the weddin'. "Damn straight we's married for real, Kymmi girl!" He told her, but were lookin' more ta' Daryl, threatenin' to kick his country ass here and now if'n he didn't listen up…this shit were important…life and death…and well, death again, if Daryl didn't pay attention…hard as it was for him to do with 'at cockeyed brain in his head. "Me and Grace is legal! You can go on down ta' the King County Clerk 'a Courts office between the hours 'a 8:00am and 5:00pm, Monday through Friday, and they'll go and sell ya a marriage license…" but part 'a that statement set Merle ta' feelin' regretful again and he looked beside him at Grace…his brand new wife, and give a rueful grunt. "They don't care if yer drunk, or whatja's on at the time!" And Grace jest scowled back.

"Okay, so you are married," Kym finally conceded, but then looked to Daryl, who was 'bout to say it his own self. "But…zombies? Really?"

But Merle didn't hafta say nothin'…nothin' at all…there was some commotion 'round the front door 'a the restaurant, and Merle could hear the telltale draggin' of a deadman's feet and the hungry groanin'…and right 'bout that time, some long haired, hippy lookin' bearded freak, in a long black coat, carryin' a jar a peanut butter come walkin' up to their table, completely unawares 'a the chaos what was 'bout to break loose…and he was comin' straight at Kym. Grace started laughin' then and there, particularly when she saw 'at peanut butter.

"I told you not to text him, when he wrote down his number and gave it to you," Grace shook her head at her lil' sis. "I told you that you might think of him as only a friend…but whatever his deal was with askin' you if you 'like peanut butter' puts me to mind that he's thinking about you in a slightly different way…" and then Grace kinda chortled again, "and that way is apparently some kinda kink that involves peanut butter!"

Beside Kym Daryl were gettin' restless as he stared at the hippy freak what was comin' closer, settin' Merle to wonderin' if his cockeyed little brother were 'bout to stand up and be a man 'bout somethin' finally, and Kym were sorta lookin' up at Daryl, like she wanted to explain, but didn't know how, and her sister was goadin' her at the same time, and finally she looked over and hauled off at Grace with, "You can talk about kinky 'peanut butter' when you and Merle no longer have to call me in to un-handcuff the two of you from the bedpost because you got playing your silly bondage game and forgot which one of you was the master, and which one was the slave!" And Grace scowled again, but she didn't have no time to lay inta' Kym before the long haired hippy bearded freak in the long black coat were at the table, makin' Daryl puff out his scrawny little shoulders and chuff all up…_damn_…boy musta liked Kymmi!

Kym were sayin' an awkward, "Hi Rocco," but Daryl weren't quite so polite…made Merle proud when Daryl 'a looked up at the long haired hippy freak, throwed his pipecleaner arm 'round Kymmi's waist, pulled her to him like they was magnetic, and give the long, dark coat wearin' deliverer 'a peanut butter at hard-set glare.

"Who the hell is he, Kym?" Daryl were starin' at the long haired freak as he spoke, givin' the arm what was 'round Kym a good flex…and Daryl's little bitty baby muscles mighta looked impressive if Merle werent' sittin' here too.

"Rocco," Kym answered hesitantly, tryin' to figure out who to look at, Daryl or Rocco, and Daryl one more time impressed the shit outta Merle when he reached over and took Kym by the chin and turn't her face back around to his, 'a holdin' it there and lookin' at her in her eyes. Kym seemed a little bit startled, but she smiled…yeah…hell…maybe Kymmie girl were like her big sister in the way that she liked it rough too? "He's a friend," she said to Daryl, but she kinda sounded like she jest forgot who she was talkin' bout.

"Yeah, I'm a friend," the Rocco dude was noddin' now, seemed kinda giddy and not all there, pushin' peanut butter across the table at Kym, while Daryl got ta' lookin' Rocco over with some renewed interest, like Daryl thought he mighta knowed him from somewhere, but Rocco weren't noticin', cuz he were focused on Kym, outta it as he was, though. "Kymmi, glad you like peanut butter! I love you, Kymmi!"

And Daryl bowed up, didn't care no more where or how he mighta knowed Rocco, just give him another cold, hard glare, then growled down to Kym, "why the hell he say 'at for?"

"I don't know," Kym was shakin' her head, Grace right along with her. "That's what he always says when he sees me…and then he gives me peanut butter…"

Daryl snarled his upper lip some at Rocco, Merle instinctively gettin' ta' his feet…Daryl mighta been a cockeyed little flaky pastry, but blood was blood, and blood didn't get left behind in no fight. "You needin' some help, little bro?" Merle readily offered, but them sounds a that deadman what had wandered in was gettin' louder…Grace takin' notice now too…some people was already a' screamin' and startin' to dash to safety…_shit_…here it come…the whole world was 'bout to know 'bout the curse what was on it…but first, Merle were gonna stand in for his cockeyed little brother against this Rocco idiot freak.

"I got it, Merle," Daryl said flatly, his eyes a hooked onta' Rocco's, starin' him down, the hippy freak maybe startin' ta' get the picture here, backin' up from Daryl some, what give Daryl time to look down at Kymmi, who was seemin' a little worried by Daryl, and Rocco…and all 'a what was startin' ta' crash through the restaurant around them…people runnin', hollerin…and always that hungry groanin'…but Daryl paid no mind, jest 'a looked right at Kymmi, like a man…like a Dixon man. "Look girl, I ain't never been no good with social graces and shit, but here's how it is tonight: all I wanna do is get to holdin' you and get to knowin' you and get to showin' you, and get to lovin' you 'fore the night's through…and so's I'm gonna beat Rocco's ass right now!"

Only Daryl never got the chance what to beat Rocco's ass…cuz that zombie come lumbrin' up behind him, a flung its rotten arms 'round Rocco, grabbed him up good…Rocco turnin' quick to look at the thing what had him, and then looked back at Kymmi and all the rest, and with a panicked expression and asked, "Is it dead?" just before he got his throat tored out.

_Author's Note:__ Special__ special Thanks to __**TheBoneyKingOf Nowhere, RainbowShelby **__and__** Amtsy, **__for agreeing to be portrayed in this chapter and this story! Again, if you have not appeared in this story, you will soon! So sorry for the long delay in posting this chapter, but I do thank you all for your patience and I hope enjoyed it! Thanks again! _


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